And we back! With so many new people too, welcome lovelies! Here’s to ending the year a little more knowledgable while holding on to a shred of hope— onto the news.
Indonesia just made sex outside of marriage illegal. The criminal code was first proposed in 2019 and holds a punishment of up to one year in prison. You can read about it below.
A Colorado teen is forcing an important conversation about who has access to comprehensive sex education, which is accessible in less than 60% of the country FYI.
Read her story here (sans paywall)
The Y chromosome (what we associate as ‘male’) has been slowly disappearing for some millennia now and scientist are finally getting answers about what it could mean. Looks like humans are in for a new system update. Just a heads up, the article uses SUPER binarized, gendered language which I always resent cause science, especially sex science supports the opposite! Anyway… you can read about it.
Montana’s new sex ed law is already backfiring. Senate Bill 99, which requires parents be notified 48 hours in advance about lessons related to “sex, anatomy, intimate relationships, sexual orientation, gender identity, contraception, and reproductive rights.” was written so loosely, History and English text were not excluded so don’t think you’re getting away with reading Romeo and Juliet or Othello without parental consent anymore! *On a serious note, this is why I recommend getting involved in school and library boards where you can have input over curriculum and budgets!
Lemme Run For My Local Elections!
Adoptees need to be discussed more in reproductive justice spaces. The right to determine families in safe and accessible communities is extended to those with complex families structures and it’s important to listen to their voices! This is a profile on an adoptee shaking the room.
Since the Dobbs decision, conversations about abortion have often centered abortion hostile (southern & midwestern) states and cishet white folx. Indigenous women and birthing people are delicately placed in the fight for abortion access acting as both citizens and sometimes, sovereign entities. They require our attention, care and support, this article is a good place to start thinking about where they sit on this axis.
Read About The Nation's Only Indigenous Abortion Fund + Donate if You Can!
I love how circular history is sometimes (though in this instance, it shouldn’t have to be). Students at Loyola University in Chicago are handing out Plan B packages, no questions asked, no money required: whoever needs it, gets it. Very similar to networks started on college campuses in the late 50’s/early 60’s w/h birth control which led to Griswold v. Connecticut getting so much attention. [Let me know if y’all want me to explain that whole legal fiasco, as well as Eisenstadt v. Baird our two landmark contraceptive cases in the states]
The BC/Plan B Network Story Here
Super Mini Gift Guide: These are just some of my picks for the holiday season. Full Disclosure, there are a few affiliate links in here (the ones with asterisks), I’ve been associated with these brands for years-before I had a substack or even social media & they’ve had my coin well before they paid me. I only recommend what I personally buy, I’m too poor to just be spending money otherwise!
Did you know that the Reproductive Justice model was made by Black women? Well you do now, and SisterSong is my favorite RJ organization. If you want to do some shopping, and support them this holiday season, shop the Everybody Campaign, where 100% of the proceeds of this campaign will go to SisterSong. I’ll also link the SisterSong donation page directly if you just want to drop them some cash.
The most luscious CBD lube on the market. Highly recommend for solo play and anal, takes a while to really absorb (around 30 minutes) so not quickie friendly. It’s oil based as well, so no latex condoms! Polyurethane condoms are your best bet.
*The world is ending, strap them today! Nah but seriously, I’m a disabled baddie and I love pegging and strapping— but the fatigue was just kicking my ass. In comes the thigh strap, larger muscle means better leverage, less fatigue and more fun for everybody, also this strap extends up to 29” which is comfortable for my thick thighs and fit me at my heaviest (which was 300 lbs). Use my coupon code: “shakingsheets” for 10% off :)
*PinkCherry US is just killing it with the holiday sales right now. It’s up to 80% off all store right now. If I didn’t need to save money… let’s just say I’d need another chest for all my sex toys. Either way, I may or may not have picked up a little something for my next entanglement (shoutout to Jada Pinkett Smith for giving me something to call these men who ain’t my man) and I to enjoy. You don’t have to get the same thing… but, I wouldn’t be mad if you did.
Book Recs:
Playing The Whore: The Work of Sex Work by Melissa Gira Grant
I NEED more people (especially women) to read books from actual sex workers, historians and theorists instead of these pop feminism takes online and Playing The Whore is one of the best books out there for this purpose. It provides context and depth where civilians fail to see it, highly recommend!
The book club I run, The Red Scare just read this in November and it was great. Especially with all of the conversations we’ve had around labor recently, it’s really important to discuss culpability and where we fall short when framing who’s to blame for the actions of our neighbors. It’s not perfect, but I think it’s a great introductory text.
The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O'Farrell
This is for my historical fiction girlies! It’s 16th century Florence and a young bride thrust in a foreign court. Lucrezia is as rooted in reality as you could imagine and we’re rarely spared from how personally odd yet socially common her experience is. I’d pick this up if I were you.
It’s a short newsletter this month but I’m swamped in finals, trying to push out a couple more essays before the year is out and making some big personal changes I can talk about in January, cause I don’t want to jinx it. As I age and grow into my writing and sex politic, I’m forever grateful for the friends, supporters and colleagues I pick up along the way. Next year is going to be much of the same: critiquing the world we live in, delivering inclusive, comprehensive sex ed to underserved communities, imagining how to build a fantastic new world and expanding community outreach but some new things will be on the menu as well, we’re taking big leaps in 2023 baby! Either way, I hope wherever you are when 2023 begins, you’re filled with inspiration, wonder, and hope, so much hope for a more just, equitable and pleasurable world.
See you in the New Year!
Nia Òla 💓