Looking to 2025

A case for community, mindful consumption and cultural predictions

I couldn’t produce a holiday gift guide.

To be clear, no one expected me to, it’s just a thought I’ve had since the weekend after Thanksgiving when all corners of the internet turned to their audiences in order to lobby for a product or service or person. Like most of us whose livelihood in part relies on internet visibility and engagement, it certainly tempted me.

Try as I might, I can’t outrun consumerism. I’d say I’m more mindful than most, the last five years I've really surprised myself with the restraint shown when deciding on purchases. I attribute some of this not just to my evolving politic, but also my slow hobbies™️. I’ve discussed them briefly in the past but seeking out activities that try my patience hasn’t just made me a more patient, gentler person, but also less likely to make rash purchases and decisions. The first day I cooked a meal with items I’d harvested from my garden, I cried. I hadn’t realized how intense it would be to experience the fruits of my labor— to walk outside and one day see green and strong roots and juicy fruit and veggies that rewarded me for my patience and love. Or the first time I looked up and realized I’d knitted a scarf, an admittedly shitty one, but a scarf nonetheless. The first sips of my home-brewed wine, mead or beer always comforts me and I can confidently say slowing down has rewired my brain for the better.

Miss Mama was busy this year. I expanded my garden by double the size, made yummy wine, mead and beer and finally tapped into mycelium. I’m a certified Mushroom lover now.

So in that spirit, I don’t have gift ideas necessarily, but I do have life enrichment recommendations if you’re interested in those.

Let’s begin!

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What do you read?

I’m asked frequently about my recommendations for books regarding various histories and movements that have shaped culture. That fills me with warmth; the question is intimate to me, I think there’s something very vulnerable, almost crass about people trusting you with their brain— for them to think you’re contribution to conversation is proof you have good fucking taste, and they want that as well.

I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that’s an honor that’s incomparable to most things I’ve done in my life so thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I have a hard time compiling things because taste can be so subjective so instead I’ve just placed exciting items from my TBR that run the gamut. Let me know in the comments if you’ve read any of these and your thoughts!

The theme of 2025 for me is: Peopling.

If this year has taught me anything, it’s that we’re not in a loneliness epidemic but rather a crisis of connection, meaning the accessibility of people isn’t the problem, but rather the social contract degenerating. The internet has altered the world in ways we likely still don’t understand in totality but perhaps the worst for a pro-social species is an obsfucation of what it means to commune. As someone who’s done community organizing and mutual aid for decades almost, I’ve seen this apathy for the fellow person grow as we’re encouraged to enrich our online lives and communities.

The internet was supposed to be an accoutrement to our lives in meatspace, not a replacement and I think we’re finally seeing the consequences of that. As a society, we’ve forgotten how to people and my contributions to the world require a lot of peopling so that’s a skill I feel we should all sharpen up on, if we’re to survive fascist times. I’ve said it dozens of times but it bears repeating. No one’s coming to save us, the only people who can, are the people. We’d do well to remember that, so I’ve attached a little poster I put together about the 3 facets of communing and ways to promote them all.

Looking to 2025

The world feels restless right now. It usually does this time of year but in light of the last, honestly 18 months or so, it feels weighted. There’s a need for something to happen though folks have been hesitant (and/or afraid) of naming it. It would be a stretch to call myself a culture critic, but I have my finger on the pulse more often than not. People are simple in ways I find easy to clock and that translates to how the world at large functions.

I’m sure I’ll expand on some of these items as the year progresses but as it stands, this is what I see for 2025.

Rejecting Resolutions

Perhaps the worst thing about entering a new year is the mounting pressure to make (almost always impossible) goals for ourselves. Personally, I gave up on resolutions about 5 years ago when I realized they promoted me to do nothing aside from punish myself when I didn't adhere to the timeline I set. At this point in my life, I’ve found it easier to enrich what I’m already interested in than spawn masochistic habits or routines from scratch. My personal ethos really hinges on me having a very seeking personality, I’m just someone constantly looking for things or people or experiences. And the way I deal with “resolutions” now is the best way to honor that.

This is part of the plan for 2025.

A Parting Word

2024 has been a very trying year for me, personally. It’s been harder not to catastrophize than usual and I’ve been giving myself grace for the slip-ups. I’ve attempted to sit down and write a piece recapping the year both sociopolitically and personally but have fallen short. Time has never felt more fluid. I mean it sent me on a spiral this week realizing Bridgerton Season 3 came out this Spring/Summer— I genuinely thought that took place well over a year ago!

I’ve spent the better part of my life deathly afraid of being left behind, of staggering my way through the world in a way too prosaic to care about. I have no dreams of being a star, to be clear, but I’ve longed for personal champions. People who see me in totality and support my wins, however they may come and comfort my losses to the best of their abilities. This community has provided a lot of that this year. I’ve been mulling over the history of my online presence frequently with the pending TikTok ban and had a “holy shit, you’ve been on the internet for almost 20 years and this is the first time you feel in it” moment.

I don’t find it embarrassing to say I have hopes and dreams for myself, some of which revolve around public life. Being a writer is all I’ve ever wanted; since I was a child I was assured through some divine force that my words would be my legacy, and finally feeling like I have an audience for them— means unspeakable things to me.

As we transcend into the New Year and all it’s fuck shit, I just hope you know how much your support matters to me. This week, That Deep hit 1,000 subscribers. The number feels inconceivable in a lot of ways but is so impactful for me. If the internet went away tomorrow, your relationship with me and my words would be unforgettable and one of my greatest achievements in this world, truly.

I don’t discuss this ever, but I’m in an ATR (African Traditional Religion). One of our core beliefs is in animism, the idea that all beings have a soul, interconnected by nature and divinity. It’s something I wholeheartedly believe yet sometimes struggle to reconcile with my own soul, there are days I feel void of one— it’s this publication, and TikTok community and beautifully complicated relationships in my life that remind me I do.

May the rest of 2024 greet you with ease. We’ll commune in the new year.

Așe